There was an incident today that went wrong from the very beginning. It went wrong from the moment, five years ago, when my daughter's fifth grade friend (a boy), asked her if we could take his cat when his family deployed to Germany. My daughter and this kid were best friends. This has already been established. The kind of friends who dare each other to do revolting things, make up epic adventure stories about the end of the world, ride bikes for hours, and freeze water balloons to save for winter.
There really was no saying no to this cat. But this cat was a calico, and they left this particular cat behind for a reason. She had multiple personalities, and the majority of them were hostile.
It goes without saying that India the Calico did not adapt well into our family of three cats.
Chloe, my aging tabby, weighing little more than eight pounds, beat the shit out of her.
Zoe, (Chloe's sister), suffered degenerative anxiety because India, in turn, beat the shit out of her. Zoe removed all the fur from first her front legs, then her back, and then her hanging stomach, becoming a sweet, tragic, hairless object of ridicule.
My youngest cat, Cinder, never met her, because she was sequestered in the penthouse suite on the second floor before his arrival, and that is where India was banished to in order to keep the peace.
It was a roomy apartment; a large bedroom with picture windows, plenty of furniture, and a two room bathroom suite, all to herself, with daily visitors, but her temperament did not improve in the least. One moment gentle and loving, the next minute spitting fury and venom, India earned a well deserved reputation as slightly psychotic.
Finally, the decision was made to give her up for adoption...hopefully to a family without other pets. It was a tough decision, my daughter did not take to it well, and that was a major stumbling block and caused emotional delay, but the day finally arrived and my husband came to collect India.
First, India, who usually greeted me with purrs and sweetness at the door, was nowhere to be found when I entered with the cat carrier. She was sequestered under a computer desk, emitting a low rumbling growl which said, "back the hell off." To make a long, bloody story short, I resorted to shoving my arms into the legs of four pairs of men's jeans until I looked like a sumo wrestler, and spent twenty minutes grappling with a angry, spitting, screaming cat in the corner of the room, until I could finally deposit her through the door of the cat carrier. (she had a Tinkerbell blanket for comfort, oh irony) At this point I fell to the floor, exhausted, and lay on my back. So much for the fond farewell I has planned. The loving hugs. The kisses to her calico head, the tears I would shed, the last picture and India and me together.
So off goes my husband to the shelter to explain the situation and give up the cat into better circumstances, but he returns with worse news.
He couldn't just tell the truth. We are giving up a cat that did not get along with our other animals. We were given the cat, we tried to help her as a favor to friends, but it just didn't work so we would like to find her a new home. No, he tells them that he "found" her. She is a stray. What do they do? Check her for a microchip. Does she have one? Of course she does. I had her declawed when she came to our home because all my other cats are declawed and they needed a fighting chance. And I had her micro-chipped.
Oh, the phone call I will receive on Monday! This man, with the same last name as you, living at a different address (my husband and I are separated) came in and told us he found a stray...your stray....what a STRANGE coincidence, doncha think? What would you like to do? Take her back?
Why no, this is where I throw him under the bus, get down to the truth, and say "why ever would he tell such a ridiculous story? He went to give up the cat voluntarily and then told you it was a stray? I have no idea why he would say such a thing?" Because I DON'T!!! It was a relatively simple..not easy, but understandable reason, to give up an animal, and now, we look like circus clowns.
Marvelous.
And my daughter, who said her goodbyes to India today and was gone at a friend's house while all this took place, knows nothing ad hopefully will not find out anything unusual.
Folks, stick to the truth. If you embellish, someone will ALWAYS find life's microchip!!!
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